The Ashes Diary Read online

  Part of playing the game is adapting, and batsmen have to do it as much as bowlers do. I’m pleased to say that our team have accepted that we’re doing everything we can to win the game. In the second innings at the Kia Oval, I had to tell Chris Rogers that he’d be going down the order because we needed to attack for 20 overs. He accepted and agreed with it. Other players accepted and agreed with changes throughout the Test matches.

  That said, a more settled order has been taking shape through the series, as players have started to perform. But there will always be times when we need to adapt to the match situation.

  Aggressive declarations

  I’ve been questioned by a number of people about my decision on the last day of the Fifth Test to set up the game for a potential result. There has been some criticism that I gave England too much of a chance.

  But this is the way I’ve been brought up to play. You risk losing in order to win. We certainly risked losing that Test, but we play the game to try to win, and we hope to entertain people along the way. I know the players enjoy that brand of cricket; they’ve made it clear to me, time and again. Personally, I don’t know any other way, and I think that’s what has got me to where I am. And it’s the Australian way. We only have eyes for winning. We draw or lose only when we can’t win.

  If Cricket Australia want me to be captain, that’s the way I’ll play. If I’m not the right man, I’ll accept that.

  Captaincy and batting

  There’s no doubt I wanted to make a lot more runs than I did in this series. I scored nearly 400 runs at an average of just under 50, so it certainly wasn’t my worst series, but with one century and one 50, I am disappointed that I didn’t play more match-changing innings when it mattered. I got a couple of good balls, I played a couple of bad shots, I played a couple of good innings.

  As captain, I expect myself to lead the way with runs. It can’t always happen, that’s the game, but I’m continuing to try to improve my game before the Australian summer. I feel the same every series. I know the Ashes is the pinnacle for an Australian cricketer, but my expectation for my performance is the same whether I’m playing England, South Africa, India or anyone else. I go to training every day of my life with the same focus, whatever the opposition. I just want to become the best player I can be. I’ve worked as hard through this series as in every other one, and haven’t got the results I’ve wanted, but I have faith that I’ll turn it around.

  But batting is only one part of captaincy. I didn’t know what leading an Australian tour to England was going to be like, because I was so focused on taking it as another opportunity for our team to develop towards its goal of being number one in the world.

  What I’ve realised, more and more, is that as captain you feel accountable for everyone in the group. As a young player, you might be trying to hold your place in the team, and if you win, you might still feel bad if you haven’t made a personal contribution. As a captain, everything is personal. So I’ve felt the sting of losing a lot more deeply. But more than that, my overriding emotion is sympathy for the boys who’ve put in so much work, to not have some Test wins. I feel really bad on their behalf that we’ve lost the series.

  The other side of that coin is that, as captain, your best days are when your teammates do well. I’ve spent a huge amount of energy helping the other boys on this tour, and the most pleasing days are when they have succeeded. I’m thrilled that Chris Rogers and Steve Smith made their first Test hundreds and that Watto made his highest Test score, a big 176. I’ve been delighted that David Warner has worked so hard to win back the team’s respect. The batsmen who have lost their places – Ed Cowan, Phillip Hughes and Usman Khawaja – have impressed me no end with their work ethic and positive demeanour. We need to make a lot of runs in Australia, so it’s important for us to keep this going.

  For the rest of the team, I see them as the heroes of the tour: Hadds for his consistently good wicketkeeping – rewarded with a world record – and team-focused batting, Matty Wade for always working hard and backing Hadds up; and the bowling group as a whole, led by Peter Siddle and Ryan Harris, with James Pattinson, Mitchell Starc, Jackson Bird, Nathan Lyon, Ashton Agar and James Faulkner – all of them doing their part for their team and country. Ryan was deservedly our man of the series, but in accepting that award he was also standing there representing the Australian bowlers as a group of men.

  I always enjoy the privilege of playing for Australia, and of being our captain. This tour has had its full share of highs and lows. But as I’ve said, when I’m in any doubt, I think of those waves battering the shore and beyond them, the calm and peace in the distance.

  My eyes remain on that horizon.

  Acknowledgements

  Just like playing cricket, writing a book is a team effort. Thanks to the Macmillan crew who have been exceptionally professional, and to Jim for helping me pull all the elements of the diary together.

  Big shout out also to my teammates – a great and talented bunch of guys and a pleasure to captain.

  Finally, thanks to my wife, Kyly, who puts up with the life of a professional sportsman with grace and good humour.

  About Michael Clarke

  Michael ‘Pup’ Clarke grew up in Liverpool, in Sydney’s south west. He joined the New South Wales Sheffield Shield team at eighteen and made his international test debut only three years later, in 2004. He became the 43rd captain of the Australian cricket team in 2011. Michael has notched up 24 centuries from only 97 matches. He has also won the prestigious Allan Border Medal several times: in 2005, 2009, 2012 and again in 2013.

  First published 2013 by Pan Macmillan Australia Pty Limited

  1 Market Street, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia 2000.

  Copyright © Michael Clarke 2013

  The moral right of the author has been asserted.

  All rights reserved. This publication (or any part of it) may not be reproduced or transmitted, copied, stored, distributed or otherwise made available by any person or entity (including Google, Amazon or similar organisations), in any form (electronic, digital, optical, mechanical) or by any means (photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise) without prior written permission from the publisher.

  This ebook may not include illustrations and/or photographs that may have been in the print edition.

  Cataloguing-in-Publication entry is available

  from the National Library of Australia

  http://catalogue.nla.gov.au

  EPUB format: 9781743289853

  Typeset by Kirby Jones

  Cover design by Deborah Parry Graphics

  Cover image: Martin Rickett/PA Wire

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