The Ashes Diary Read online

  That includes what the fieldsmen were saying. They’ve said something to me every time I’ve walked out, but I don’t hear it. Usman and I shared a few words of general support, and he faced the next five balls from Swann before taking a single. I had one from Swann, which I defended to the on side. Next over, ultra-keen to rotate the strike, Usman called me through for a very quick single and I was nearly run out when Bairstow’s throw hit the stumps. The umpire called for a replay, but I was safely in.

  Over the next 10–15 minutes, I felt I was in really good touch. The wicket was allowing the ball to come onto the bat much truer and quicker than at Trent Bridge, and I was middling it well. This was a beautiful batting track, it was a fine, warm day, and it was all laid out for us. We were trying to be positive, but soon, facing Swann, Usman came down the wicket to loft a drive. He got it on the toe of the bat and it flew to mid-off. That meant 4/69, and a bit more pressure.

  I was still feeling good, though. Cook brought on Broad to replace Bresnan from the Pavilion end, and he overpitched, allowing me to drive him twice. One straight drive ran into the stumps at the other end, but the other went for four when Bresnan, at mid-off, dived for it too late. Broad stopped the game to make some sort of minute changes to the field. So I backed off and adjusted my gloves, to bring the game back to my timetable.

  After the drinks break, Broad went at me with some bouncers, but wasn’t very accurate. One went high over my head, and another was a long hop which I was able to punch away through the off side. I was stressing to Smithy that we had to build a partnership and play each ball on its merits.

  Sometimes you get yourself out, but with Smithy he got a good ball. Just as he was settling down, he played forward at Swann and it jumped off the track. It hadn’t done that at all at Trent Bridge. The ball hit his bat handle and popped to Bell at bat-pad. We were 5/86, and Hadds and I were looking at a rescue job.

  I lost a bit of concentration after Smithy got out. England were on top, and I thought I had to drag some momentum back. I told myself to play with good intent and put it back on the bowlers.

  Broad was dropping short again, and I pulled one for four. He banged another ball in so short that umpire Dharmasena called it wide for being too high. Then he bowled me a half-volley on my leg stump that I missed. Just a mental error, a lapse of concentration. My game is based around playing straight and I tried to hit it too square and was out LBW. So I was back in the dressing room with the other guys. It was unacceptable after making a good start. In getting out, I’d done everything I’d been telling the boys we had to guard against. I have no excuses. On a wicket like this, when you make a start as I did, you have to cash in. I let a big score go.

  By tea, we were seven down. It was a reminder of the middle session at The Oval in 2009: one bad session can lose you a whole match. This was what we’ve planned against, what we’ve worked so hard to prevent happening again, and here it is. I wish I had an answer. Believe me, it’s not for want of trying.

  This time, there was no last-wicket stand to pull us out of the pit we’d dug. We were all out for 128. I gathered the boys together when we went back onto Lord’s, and thought about what I might say to show them there was some light at the end of the tunnel. I reminded them that at Cape Town a couple of years back, where a few of us had been involved, South Africa were in a similar position to where we were now, and they’d bowled us out for 47. It’s cricket: anything’s possible! If we bowl England out cheaply, we’re right in this, chasing something like what we so nearly got, on a much harder wicket, in Nottingham. There is a way to win.

  The bowlers really went at it positively. Watto had Joe Root edging early, but unfortunately Hadds and I both thought the other guy had it, and neither of us moved. Still, Patto and especially Sidds bowled fantastic spells and brought us back into the game by dismissing Cook, Trott and Pietersen. We’ve got England’s best three batsmen and they’re only 30. There is a way to win this – we have to believe.

  It’s the type of optimism for which Shane Warne was renowned. He could talk everyone around him into believing a win was possible. Tonight, Kyly and I went out to dinner with Shane and his close friends and family. Shane’s father Keith was there, and it was a double celebration: Keith’s 70th birthday, and Shane being inducted into the ICC Cricket Hall of Fame today. When it happened during a break in play, I made sure the whole team came out onto the balcony to applaud him. It’s a special event. Warnie is very modest about his achievements, but I am extremely happy for him. If there’s one guy who’s earnt the accolade, it’s him. I know inside he was proud.

  Now that I’ve sat down to think about today, though, it’s hit me again how horrible our batting was. Horrendous, on a good wicket. If we’re not careful, it will cost us this Test match and a lot more. Some of our top six got starts but didn’t go on, and we’re nowhere near consistent enough to beat good teams when we play like this. Put simply, the batting group has let the team down. The bowlers are fighting, but no bowlers are good enough to keep knocking teams over for a hundred, which is what we’re effectively asking them to do, particularly if they’ve only got 50 overs of wet between innings.

  It’s unacceptable.

  Saturday 20 July. London.

  Another bad day, really, even though there were no disasters. We’ve been left in a terrible predicament by the way we batted yesterday.

  England patiently manoeuvred themselves into position. I gathered the boys together again and tried to keep their optimism up. If we took seven wickets in the first session, we would be chasing around 350 to win, with plenty of time. That was the way forward.

  But Joe Root and Tim Bresnan played well, and we couldn’t find a chink in their armour. The missed chance yesterday when Root was on 8 has turned out to be really costly. He’s 178 not out now.

  There’s not a lot to say about today’s play. It was much cooler, and I was in my sweater all day. The wicket’s still very good. The hardest thing for the bowlers was that they know our success is based on building pressure through maiden overs, but they were also fighting impatience – the need to get England out quickly to have a chance of winning. Every run was crucial. So finding that balance between attack and containment was difficult.

  There was a bit of swing for the bowlers, and after we got Bresnan, we hoped to spark a collapse, but Ian Bell had a bit of luck. He chipped Ryan Harris somehow just over short mid-wicket, but short of mid-on. You couldn’t do that if you tried. My hands were on my head and I was gasping in frustration.

  Straight after, Bell edged Harris for a regulation catch to Steve Smith at gully. Because it was caught low to the ground, though, it went up to the third umpire. The officials are not meant to be swayed by this kind of thing, but I felt we might have influenced events by not celebrating more exuberantly. We were all a bit uncertain at first. Ryan didn’t jump up and down, and Steve said he thought he’d caught it, but wasn’t throwing the ball up and carrying on. I walked over to Steve and said, ‘Did you catch it?’

  He thought he had and I thought he’d caught it too.

  When we looked at the replay, it was pretty straightforward: he’d got his fingers under the ball. It was another blow when Tony Hill, the third umpire, said he could not give it out because he thought he had seen some contact between the ball and the ground.

  England continued to bat all day. I gave Root a good clap when he reached his 150, as he’d played very well, but the game was drifting. To be honest, I was very surprised that they didn’t declare before stumps, giving themselves about six overs to go at us with the new ball and try to take a wicket when we were tired and dulled from a day in the field. They just seemed to want us to keep on bowling.

  My priority, in the last hour, was to preserve our pacemen. They were stuffed. I didn’t have any choice. With three Test matches to play, my priority is not destroying our bowlers. So I didn’t take the new ball, instead giving Ashton Agar and Steve Smith a long spell together. The game sort of coasted towar
ds the end of the day, without much action.

  Now that I’m sitting in my room, I don’t even know how many runs England are in front. That says something about the bad position we’re in. But you never know. If we bat for two days, we’ll win the Test match. It’s one tough ask, but what I do know is that as a batting unit we’re well and truly due, me especially. Let’s hope that a few of us put our hands up.

  Sunday 21 July. London.

  This afternoon, once the match was finished, I was interviewed on the ground at Lord’s for television. Thousands of people were still in the stands. I said I believed we could still win the series from 0–2 down. People laughed.

  I can see where they’re coming from, but we have the talent to do it. England are a good side, but the scoreline is not a fair reflection of the difference between the teams. Once we beat them, we’ll believe we can win the series – I strongly believe that when we get to that point we’ll be hard to stop. Having fallen just short at Trent Bridge is looking more and more costly. It was only 15 runs, but in confidence it would have been worth a great deal more.

  Every loss is tough, whether it’s a near-miss at Trent Bridge or a sound thrashing here. I take it more personally as captain, and it hurts me to see these guys I care so much about feeling so miserable, but I have to say I’ve hated losing whenever it’s happened to me as an Australian Test player, captain or not. Hated it.

  When we arrived at Lord’s today, we came with an open mind. The confidence was there. Having seen England score plenty of runs, we knew that if we batted long enough we would get enough. It was going to be hard with the footmarks and the ball spinning, but we thought if we fought our way through the tough spells, we had the skill to win this, despite what history might say.

  We removed Bairstow and Root pretty quickly, and Cook declared after only about half an hour’s play. Such an early declaration confirmed my surprise over why he hadn’t left time to have a crack at us yesterday afternoon.

  It was cool and cloudy when Watto and Bucky started out. Again, they looked perfectly comfortable against the new ball. There was swing for Broad and Anderson, but nothing our openers couldn’t handle.

  Then Watto was out LBW – another close one, but out. Swann was brought on soon after, from the Nursery end. He had some craggy footmarks to bowl into, as the pitch was harder than Nottingham and all the pacemen from both sides are right-armers, so there were deep craters outside the left-handed batsmen’s off stump. Bowling from that end, he would be turning the ball away from the slope, but running it downhill when he bowled his top-spinner.

  He deceived Chris with a beautiful piece of bowling – the big turner that flew sideways out towards slip, and a couple of balls later the arm ball that missed the footmarks, skidded down the slope and glanced Chris’ off stump. You have to credit the bowler for something like that. Swann had got Chris with one of the worst balls ever in the first innings, but he’d balanced that out with a fine piece of bowling now.

  Hughesy joined Usman, but not for long. I saw Swann’s LBW appeal against Phillip and the umpire gave him out. I put my helmet on, put my gloves on, and picked up my bat. The replay came on, and the other guys in the changing room told me it was out. I was on my way, down through the Long Room again. On the fourth day, a reciprocity arrangement means that Sydney Cricket Ground members are in the pavilion at Lord’s. The support we’ve had from Australians and English people has been outstanding. I’m amazed at how many English supporters want us to beat England! It’s nice to hear when you’re on the other side of the world.

  I went out in a sleeveless vest against the cooler weather, and set myself to play positively. I’ve always used my feet to the spinners, and it’s brought me success, so I saw no reason to change against Swann. With Mitchell Starc not having played, there were no footmarks outside my off stump. On the seventh ball I faced, I went down the track and Swann’s delivery went dead straight. I played inside the line and got a nick. That nick saved me. The ball deviated a little and hit Matt Prior’s knee, bouncing clear before he could catch or stump me. Some luck going my way – I had to make the most of it.

  Soon I felt that my footwork was upsetting Swann’s length. He bowled me a full toss, which I hit through cover down the hill for four. I got some runs off Bresnan, who was tight but not threatening, and asked for some new gloves. My hands really sweat up when I’m nervous.

  Uzzy and I got us through to lunch. James Anderson chose to walk beside me as I went towards the pavilion, murmuring pleasantries – ‘Good luck’, and all that (and pigs might fly). After lunch, Broad was brought on from the Pavilion end to bowl some short ones, but Uzzy forced him through the on side a couple of times and I got some runs too. On the dying wicket, bouncers might not have seemed a smart plan of attack, but all opposition teams now try it on me, and Broad seems to be the chosen guy here.

  In Swann’s next over, Usman called for a single and I ran through. When I looked around, Swann was writhing on the ground and Usman was apologising. I didn’t see it, but Usman had got him – accidentally – with a solid bump. Graeme might have been affected, because for the next little while Usman and I both got a fair few runs off him. It was a good battle, especially when he forced me back, but I was determined not to let him dictate, so I got down the wicket and hit him over mid-on for a four on the first bounce. He put a deep mid-on in place two-thirds of the way back to the boundary, which was a win for me, as I could then knock the ball down there along the ground for easy singles.

  From the Pavilion end, meanwhile, Broad was bowling to a fairly predictable short-pitched strategy. What wasn’t predictable was how the ball bounced. Lord’s was definitely quicker than Trent Bridge, but as we saw on the first day when Ryan Harris’ bouncer to Trott didn’t get up, it was hard to judge how high the bounce was. I didn’t feel comfortable ducking, in case the ball didn’t get up. So with one of Broad’s bouncers, I just stood there and it caught me hard on the upper left arm. Another, I went back to defend and it shot through and got me in the ribs, just below my heart. And then, when I stood to block the next ball, it leapt up and caught me on the helmet, flush on the Australian badge.

  Another got me on the left hip and Broad appealed, but he was also wasting a lot of bouncers down the leg side, and when he tried to pitch it up, he wasn’t executing very well. We could see he was feeling the tension: when Usman pulled his slower bouncer for four, Broad gave Trott at square leg an absolute gobful.

  The thing was, we were surviving, and putting some runs on the board. Anderson came on to replace Broad from the Pavilion end, and I felt more comfortable against him than at Trent Bridge. He was covering the ball with his left hand, his usual practice when he’s bowling reverse swing, but it wasn’t doing as much as it had in Nottingham. I ran one off the face of the bat to third man for four, got on my toes for a cut through cover point, and generally defended him pretty well.

  Usman was getting a lot of the strike to Swann, but he was batting really well now, getting away the odd boundary. We got the score up into the 100s, then the 110s – not that the score was paramount, but it eased the pressure to be putting on runs while also defending staunchly.

  After drinks, Swann switched to bowl around the wicket to me, hoping to get something going out of the footmarks. But he was bowling enough loose ones for me to either get a single away or hit a four, mainly by getting down the wicket and driving through cover. Usman, at the other end, hauled Swann away to deep mid-wicket for three, and then clipped Anderson neatly away for four.

  In the 44th over, when the score was 3/119, Cook brought on Joe Root with his off-spinners. It’s something I’ve often done when a bloke has made a big score with the bat: he feels he can do no wrong, and can jag a wicket with the ball. Uzzy dealt with him okay, though, except for one where they appealed for a catch at slip – another delivery that exploded out of the footmarks at a radical angle without the bat having hit it.

  After we’d seen off Anderson, Bresnan was brought b
ack again. He bowled two ordinary balls wide of my off stump that I threw my hands at in a slightly uncontrolled way. One went over slips, and I was eyeing the gap behind point when I inside-edged the next and nearly chopped it onto my stumps. Concentrate!

  Root, like Swann, was coming around the wicket to me. Cook put himself at leg slip, and it was fairly obvious that they would try to aim at or outside my leg stump. I knew that was how they wanted to get me out. Root had put his first ball to me in that spot, and I went back and turned it around the corner for a single. When he tossed it up there again, I should have played back, not forward, but in a lazy moment, I selected the wrong shot and glanced it off the front foot – straight to Cook.

  I bowed over my bat, disappointed beyond belief. We’d fought so hard, and here it was me letting the side down. Again.

  Usman was out in Root’s next over. You hate it when a part-timer takes wickets, because it gives the fielding side a lift and a laugh and it shows that you haven’t placed a high enough price on your wicket. I wouldn’t say that about Usman, who batted tremendously well, but I will about myself. Just lazy.

  The lower order, as usual, put up some resistance. Smith and Agar were out to what looked like speculative decisions from the third umpire, but it’s a cop-out to blame the DRS and I won’t do it. We weren’t lucky, but we weren’t good enough to make our own luck. At the end of the day, Jimmy Pattinson and Ryan Harris stuck around to make the English come back tomorrow, but the play was extended and a couple of balls before the end, Jimmy was last man out.

  It’s hard to swallow back your disappointment at these moments, but as captain I have to press on. Matt Cenin, our media liaison, took me to the Nursery end to have a press conference, which I can’t possibly enjoy after a loss.